Etwas Trigger
by GuinevereKoopa
Summary: What to say...Well... It's sort of a crossover...kinda... The retelling of Chrono Trigger using different characters. And humourously so. ... *Part 6* Gaspar the soldier, and Spekkio the Mantis, and the first game over! YAY BUCKETS!
1. The Millenial Fair

Etwas Trigger: Chapter One: The Millennial Fair  
  
Author: GuinevereKoopa and Meo. Guin writes odd, Meo writes even.  
  
Fic Note: Okay, what to say here.well, this is a crossover fic. Characters most of you have never seen before, but hey. You can read The Legend of Etwas over at http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/plumberingreen/contents.html if you really want to find out who these characters are. Here, for your convenience, we even have a cast list.  
  
Party  
  
Crono- Jsi; Marle- Goyd; Lucca- Perlin; Frog- Niftiness; Robo- Mope; Ayla- Doron; Magus- Nome;  
  
Present  
  
Crono's Mom- Jsi's Mom, Kiara; Lucca's Parents- Perlin's REAL parents, Martin Hiaki and um...Mrs. Hiaki...; Gato- GATO!; King and Queen Guardia- Mope and Doron; Chancellor- Uncle Fred; Pierre- Hush; Melchior- Hugh;  
  
Middle Ages  
  
Flea- Rick; Slash- Gen. Nick; Ozzie- Kierz; King and Queen Guardia- Mope and Doron (we're low budget); Chancellor- Uncle Fred; Yakra- Hamster Monster; Tata- Todd; Fiona- Jack;  
  
Dark Ages  
  
Queen Zeal- Gajda; Janus- Um...Chibi Nome?; Schala- Snazzy; Dalton- Blade;  
  
Prehistoric  
  
Kino- Lee; Azala- Wendy Gretson;  
  
End of Time  
  
Spekkio- Fluffy; Gaspar- Harlan;  
  
Future  
  
Doan- Jurieno; Belthazar- Hugh (we're low budget, I said that already); Johnny- FONZY!;  
  
Nu- As all begins with Nu and ends with Nu, Nu shall be portrayed by Nu  
  
On a sidenote, we don't own the story of Chrono Trigger and all that.Guin, however, does own the Etwas characters in conjunction with Sandy Grey. Let it also be known that the whole Etwas Trigger crossover thing was Meo's idea. Because she's cool.  
  
.Okay, this is the only chapter with an 8-page-long Note at the beginning.let me just get you back to your regularly scheduled fic.  
  
  
  
"Crono! Wake up you lazy bum!" The curtains flew open and Jsi sat up, blinking. His mother was standing by his window, tying back the shades. She turned and looked at him displeasingly. "Get up, Crono. You're supposed to go to the fair today, you good-for-nothing."  
  
He opened his mouth to speak but couldn't. He blinked. His mother stomped over to his bed and tore the blankets off, shouting for him to get up again. He stood and realized suddenly that he was fully clothed. Shoes and everything. 'How weird...' he thought.  
  
As Jsi stood there, marveling at the oddity of it all, his mother yelled at him again to go feed the cat. So he went down the stairs, and on his way he passed by a mirror. His hair was tied back with a headband, as it normally was, but it was white now rather than orange. And his hair seemed a bit spikier than usual. Not only that, but it was a rather odd shade of purple, as if somebody had tried to dye it red over its natural blue colour, and botched it badly.  
  
He reached up to flick one of the spikes but it didn't budge and he ended up injuring his finger. 'Ow! ...That's some hair gel,' he marveled, staring at the reflection.  
  
The weirdest thing though was how he suddenly found himself to be mute. Try as he might, he couldn't say anything. Not even "Arglfrzm."  
  
But nonetheless, he continued downstairs to feed the cat. When he was done, his mother reminded him, none too kindly, that he was to meet Lucca at the fair. He desperately wanted to shout, "Who the HECK is Lucca?!" but being suddenly mute, he was unable to.  
  
His mother gave him 200 gil and sent him out the door. He stood there staring at the strange currency in his hands, wondering what the heck it was for. 'What happened to Kasha?' He looked around and realized that he was on the Overworld. 'Better get to that one place...Leene Square...' He blinked and searched around, realizing he didn't know where it was.  
  
'Must be the pixilated map location with all those weird balloon- looking things floating over it.' So he started walking toward the pixilated map location with the weird balloon-looking things floating over it.  
  
When he got there, it suddenly transformed to a townscape. 'Just like home. Only pixely!' he thought as he looked around. There was a tent on the right side of the square that looked rather ominous in that odd pixilated way. 'Okay, avoid that place. But what was I supposed to do...?' He stood there and pondered a moment, then realized that maybe he should talk to random bystanders.  
  
Then he realized he couldn't talk.  
  
'Well damn, I'm screwed now.' But he walked over to somebody anyway. Amazingly enough, the person started talking to him when he approached.  
  
"Lucca's setting up at the back of the square."  
  
He blinked, considering this odd, but decided to take the information into consideration and walk to the back of the square. As he get near the huge bell in the middle of the next screen, a girl ran, rather forcefully, into him and they were both bowled over.  
  
"Watch where you're going you stupid spiky-haired sonofanotter!" the girl shouted at him as she stood.  
  
He blinked. The statement didn't affect him. Technically, he WAS the son of an otter.  
  
Her hand went to her neck as if in sudden realization and she started looking around in a panic. "Oh no, my pendant! I must have dropped it when you knocked me over!"  
  
He was about to shout, "Hey, you knocked ME over!" in response, but then remembered that he couldn't talk. So instead, he got up and started looking for her pendant. It was on the other side of the screen, so he grabbed it and gave it back to her, wondering why she only looked for it by walking along the same line and not actually walking all the way around the square to see if it had been thrown somewhere by the fall.  
  
"Oh, thank you. If I'd lost this then Daddy would've been reallyfriggin'mad!"  
  
He blinked. Reallyfriggin'mad? Was that a legal term to use in this game?  
  
"So what's your name?" she asked.  
  
He immediately replied "Jsi!" Or tried to anyway, but he still couldn't talk.  
  
"Crono? Hi, Crono, my name's Marle!" she smiled.  
  
That smile was familiar. She had white skin with a slight blue tint to it, and fangs. Her long black hair was tied back in a ponytail. When he saw her hair, combined with the earring pattern on her large pointed ears, he recognized her immediately.  
  
"GOYD?!" But he didn't actually SAY anything, he just MOUTHED it loudly.  
  
"So why did you knock me down?"  
  
'I didn't you moron! YOU knocked ME down! AUGH! WHY CAN'T I TALK?!' he screamed mentally to the sky.  
  
She blinked, then laughed. "You're funny, Crono. Can you give me a tour of the Millennial Fair?"  
  
He sighed and nodded. Might as well have some company, even if he didn't actually know where he was going either.  
  
So he led her around the fair, though he had no clue what he was doing. They even found a lost cat and returned it to the little girl all the way on the other side of the screen. She thanked them kindly, which prompted a remark of, "You're so sweet, Crono," from Goyd. Who still claimed to be Marle.  
  
They ended up getting lost and turned completely around, and they turned up back near the fountain at the center of the first screen of the square. One of the girls next to the fountain mentioned that Lucca had finished setting up at the back of the square, so Jsi led Goyd back there.  
  
Annoyingly enough, she stopped near the candy stand right in front of the steps because, apparently, she wanted some candy. So Jsi stood there and waited impatiently. The long wait gave him a little time to think.  
  
He froze, realizing something. 'This is awfully similar to that one game Nome told me about...' He looked around the fair one more time and recalled everything he'd seen here. The creepy tent, the odd world map, the huge cat robot...Gato! Yes, Gato. He should've realized immediately!  
  
'I'm in Chrono Trigger... Dear lord...this is bad....' He paused and looked at Goyd. '...That means I can't just start dragging Goyd everywhere because it'll make bad things happen later in the game! NOOO!'  
  
He stood there, staring blankly into space, screaming in his mind. Goyd turned to him and said, "Okay, let's go!" but he didn't move.  
  
She glared at him and grabbed his arm, dragging him forcefully up the steps. "Damn sonofanotter! Move!" she shouted at him.  
  
She finally managed to drag him up all the steps to the last screen of the fair.  
  
There were two machines in the last screen, and a man with suspiciously dark skin and pointy, bat-like ears standing next to one of them. A girl with similarly suspicious dark skin and bat-like ears walked onscreen and stood beside him.  
  
"PERLIN!" Jsi mouthed with similar volume as his earlier nonexistent shout of "GOYD?!"  
  
"I'm Lucca! I'm great and powerful and smart and pretty and other such things!" Perlin announced to the crowd. She adjusted her amazingly thick glasses and motioned to the machine on the left. "This is my newest invention. The Telepod. Any volunteers want to try it out?"  
  
She glanced around the crowd and, seeing Jsi, immediately picked him out. "Crono! Come on, try out the Telepod for us, you brave, brave soul you!"  
  
Jsi, having no real choice, walked up and stood on the platform. Perlin and the man, her father, did some complex thing involving switches and such on the machine, and he suddenly found himself on the other side of the screen.  
  
'Wow. I could've walked from there to here in less time,' he blinked.  
  
"That looks like fun!" Goyd grinned. "Can I try, Crono? Can I?"  
  
Lucca looked at her and blinked. "Nice find, Crono. Where'd you pick this one up?"  
  
Jsi glared at her, but she turned away and stepped back up to the machine. "Just step right up little missy," she said.  
  
Goyd ran and jumped up on the left Telepod. Perlin and her father went through a similarly long spiel of button-pushing and random statements of "MORE POWER CAP'N!" But rather than appear on the right Telepod, Goyd vanished into a pixilated blue and black vortex, leaving only her pendant behind.  
  
Jsi blinked. 'She coulda just walked...'  
  
Perlin walked over and picked up the pendant. "Well, that's no good. Must be something to do with this pendant. Crono, can you go through and find her for me? She must have teleported somewhere else."  
  
'No friggin' duh.' But he took the pendant anyway, and went to stand on the Telepod.  
  
They set the machine running, and he was transported through the same vortex that swallowed Goyd. But the pendant stayed with him, rather than being left on the floor of the square. Must be a hero thing. 


	2. The Queen Returns

Etwas Trigger: Chapter Two: The Queen Returns  
  
Author: Meo  
  
Guinís Note: I know the first move Crono learns is actually Cyclone and not Spincut, but I like the joke. So letís just leave that little discrepancy alone.  
  
Jsi tumbled headfirst into the pixilated grass. He recieved a mouthful of dirt that he couldn't even recognize as being there until it was in his mouth. Spitting it out, he thought to himself, 'Well, now I'm in a forest. Wasn't I just at the fair? Dude, it must've ended sooner than I thought...'  
  
Picking himself up, he ran toward the next screen. Strange little green creatures surrounded him as soon as he took his first step. He reached for his weapon and realized he held a sword. 'Aw, f...a sword? I can't fight with a sword!' But he took a deep breath and readied himself for battle anyway. Not knowing how to properly utilize the weapon, he blindly swung it at the imps.  
  
The next thing he knew, the creatures all vanished in red, pixilated dust. Was that supposed to be old fashioned blood? Naaah. If it was, this game would definitely not have the Teen rating.  
  
So, on he went. This time, he was confronted by a couple of birds. 'BIRDS?! Oh, give me a break!'  
  
He swung his sword again, but the avians just dodged the weapon easily. Try as he might, he couldn't reach them. So, he reached down to his side, and picked up a couple of the rocks that appeared plastered into the ground. With two idle pitches, he nailed the two flying monsters head on. They both fell into the chasm, and landed with the casual 'thump' noise to show that they hit the bottom of the canyon.  
  
'Who needs a sword when you have ROCKS! I knew they'd actually be good for something!'  
  
From the groups of monsters he had defeated before, Jsi was able to gain a new move: "Spincut".  
  
'Spincut? Isn't that the technique used in making fries? Ah well. As long as it helps in ass-kicking, it's fine with me.'  
  
After a while, (and quite a few more monster battles), he made it out of the Canyon and out into a now dreary atmosphere. Clouds shrouded the skies, and the landscaping now looked darker. He shrugged it off and ran, until he noticed a forest blocking the view to a pixilated castle. Sword in hand, he ran headlong into the woods, just to run into a conveniently placed sign.  
  
He fell over backward, rubbing his head. He peered up to read the sign. '"Guardia Caste, up North." Yes! So the plot thickens. But this place is bound to have more monsters. I know! I can slide against the bark of the trees!'  
  
With that thought in mind, he slinked through the woods by using the trees for protection. He didn't confront any monsters, but once he got out...well, let's just say the splinters didn't treat his body very comfortably. But he made it to the castle, in one piece though with a splinter-infested body.  
  
'...Ow.'  
  
He burst through the door, still plucking splinters out of one boot. Two guards turned their heads, staring at the otter boy.  
  
"HEY! Trespasser!" one guard burst out. "Get out of this castle NOW!"  
  
Jsi tried to yell at the guards, but all that was seen on his face was an angry expression, with his mouth moving. It appeared as if he was trying to curse, yet there was no noise. He was still mute, of course.  
  
Both guards looked to each other, and cocked their eyebrows. One gesticulated to his head, and spun his finger around.  
  
"This otter's bloody crazy, eh?" he whispered.  
  
"...Either that or he has the volume setting on his voice broken."  
  
After that was said, both guards grabbed him forcefully by the arms. Jsi was still feeling the pain of the splinters in his body. His eyes teared like mad.  
  
"STOP THAT! ...Or...something..."  
  
All three heads turned to stare up the stairs to see a Gothic Elf in a bridal-looking dress standing at the top. A Goth Elf in a bridal gown looked quite odd. She should have gone for a more Friday the Thirteenth look if she was planning a wedding.  
  
"Oh! Queen Leene!" one guard uttered. "We were taking care of this trespasser!"  
  
"TRESPASSER?! she mocked. She took a quick glance at the "trespasser", knowing it was Jsi. She laughed to herself and turned for a moment, thinking to herself, 'He probably deserves it, but...what the hell, I'll save him just this once.'  
  
"UNHAND THAT BOY AT ONCE! ...Uh....NOW!"  
  
The other guard spoke up. "But Queen, he's trespass--"  
  
"WHEN I SAY 'NOW', IT MEANS NOW! ...M'kay?"  
  
"Yes, your majesty."  
  
Jsi was forcefully thrown to the woman, and he fell face first onto the stairs. With a slightly bloody nose, he stared up at her.  
  
She kneeled to get closer to him and whispered, "Heheh. Ssssh. Crono. It's me, Marle!"  
  
'...You mean Goyd.'  
  
He suddenly felt a sharp tug at the back of his tunic. "Now, come on! Up to my room! Screw the king giving you permission, I'll take you there myself."  
  
A black screen. The next screen was another pixely room where Jsi found himself lying on his back. 'Ow! Dammit Goyd, you could be a little gentler... ... ... ...Goyd?'  
  
It turned out that Goyd was busy yelling at the servants to get out of the room. With a slam of the door, she fluffed out her dress, and walked over to the otter.  
  
"You have no idea how much I hate this dress."  
  
'...Yeah, you don't look so hot in it, either,' he thought.  
  
"They thought I was the Queen!" she exclaimed. "They had to give me this crappy dress! Ew! It's so ugly, too--"  
  
Her words were cut off by a crackling electricity. Jsi picked his head up, and grinned. 'Whoa! I never knew Goyd was like a light show!'  
  
She clasped at her chest, attempting to clutch at the necklace. "It's the pendant! It's reacting again! HEEEELP!"  
  
The pixilated blue and black portal opened up again, enveloping the elf. Before Jsi could get up and make a run at it, the portal flashed shut, sending him flying onto the floor yet again.  
  
'THE THIRD TIME! ...And another bloody nose. Can this get any worse? I'm gonna go bug someone for a towel.'  
  
Holding his nose with a hand, he staggered down the stairs. It was a long flight of steps, but he was able to make it. As soon as he made it down, he noticed a familiar figure coming toward him from the front of the castle. It was none other than Perlin.  
  
"CRONO!!" she shouted. She tried shouting again, but she fell over onto hands and knees. Seems that Jsi wasn't the only one having a bad day.  
  
Panting, Perlin tried to speak again. She lowered her head, catching her breath. "Crono!" she started. "I was able to track down Marle in this time! ... ... ...What? She disappeared?! Oh, nooo... ...We need to find her! They must think she's the Queen!"  
  
Getting up quickly, she ran up to him, grabbing him by the arm. He still held his face with the other hand, and just let the bat-girl drag him along.  
  
"Off to the OTHER forest shrouded building!" she exclaimed.  
  
Being dragged out the door, Jsi felt regretful playing the role of the hero. He never did get that towel for his bloody nose, either. What a drag. 


	3. The Queen is Gone

Etwas Trigger: Chapter Three: The Queen is Gone  
  
Author: GuinevereKoopa  
  
Fic Note: Eehh..Arglfrzm is an in-joke. I use it a lot. This part goes from where they find the chapel, the man-eating nuns, and Frog, to where they leave the past for the present again.  
  
It was a chapel. At least, it should have been. It didn't look like much from the outside, and inside there was just a few nuns and some pixilated stained glass. They walked through, talking to a few of the nuns on the way.  
  
Jsi realized that they were saying very un-nun-like things. Such as "I will eat your heart!"  
  
'...Nuns are weird.'  
  
They walked to the end of the corridor between the pews, where an organ sat.  
  
"SHINY DOT!" Perlin cried, and immediately ran over to examine it.  
  
There was a sound somewhat like "RARGH!" or "GRAH!" or "ARGLFRZM!" and all the nuns turned into snake-like monsters. Jsi smacked his forehead with his hand, cursing Perlin's curiousity.  
  
There was a pseudo-boss battle against the nuns/monsters, which Perlin and Jsi won with some difficulty. Then more showed up.  
  
"We're too weak to fight them! We'll lose for sure!" Perlin cried.  
  
'...Well, if you're a LOSER...' He readied himself for another battle, but it was interrupted.  
  
There was a flash of a blade and the monsters vanished. A creature was left standing there, holding a sword, poised for battle. He looked like a rather familiar blonde rabbit, but he had a green and brown pattern painted on his face, as if somebody had tried to make him look like a frog.  
  
"Take that, foul beast!" he challenged, though the foul beast had already taken that.  
  
"Niftiness?!" But Jsi's shout had the same volume as his previous shouts aimed toward Goyd and Perlin, so nobody heard.  
  
Niftiness turned and looked up at them, standing there. "Move aside, I am here to save the Queen."  
  
"Gah! It's a...it's a..." Perlin said, stepping back from the rabbit. "EEEEEEEK!"  
  
Jsi blinked. 'It's just Niftiness with some paint on his face.'  
  
"What kind of monster are you?!" she screamed.  
  
Niftiness blinked. "Monster? Milady, I am not a monster. I am a frog."  
  
"EEEEEEEK!" She ducked behind Jsi.  
  
"I'm off to save milady queen," he said. He looked around the room, but there was no door leading out.  
  
Jsi stepped forward. It didn't matter that he couldn't talk. For some reason, these people seemed to hear unstated things. It was weird.  
  
"You're going to save the queen too, are you?" Niftiness said, looking up at him. "Well, I suppose two allies is better than just myself."  
  
Perlin blinked and took a step toward the rabbit. "...Uhm...you're a frog..."  
  
"Indeed. Though I do not wish to be."  
  
"If we're going to team up for now...what do I call you?"  
  
There was a rather long pause before he finally said, "...Frog will do."  
  
'But your name isn't Frog! You're not even a Frog! You're a rabbit named GENJI NIFTINESS!' Jsi shouted in his mind, staring crazily at the rabbit.  
  
"...Is this boy all right?" he asked, motioning to Jsi.  
  
Perlin blinked. "...Oh, that? He does that sometimes. I find it odd myself. ...Oh! We need to hurry and save the queen!" she suddenly realized.  
  
"Indeed."  
  
And so, Niftiness/Frog joined the party to help them search for the queen. Jsi walked over to check the organ. 'There's always something about large instruments and video games...' A secret door opened on the other side of the room as soon as he hit a few of the keys.  
  
They went through and found a save point. Hooray for save points! After that there was a lot of running around and fighting monsters, a room where there were monsters who thought that they were monsters in human guise, and... yeah.  
  
The point is that eventually, they found a room where what appeared to be Queen Leene was. But she wasn't Leene, she was really some horrid monster. So they fought, and fought some more, and fought more. ...Actually, that wasn't the point. But I'm getting there, really.  
  
At one point, they found a statue of a man with a cloak and a scythe. Jsi stopped in front of it, staring. '...He looks familiar...' he thought, looking the statue over. 'I wonder...'  
  
"Crono! There's no time! They might kill Queen Leene!" Perlin insisted, so he lost his chance to ponder over it as they ran down the halls to find the queen.  
  
They eventually did find her. It turned out she was being guarded by a thing called Yakra. Yakra looked a lot like a large fuzzy hamster.  
  
"I am Yakra!"  
  
'...No, dude, you're a hamster.'  
  
"You will die for the sake of mystics! Or...whatever! I forgot my line, so insert something dramatic here and fight me!" So they did.  
  
And they won. With "Frog" the rabbit in the party, it wasn't too hard.  
  
So they saved the queen and took her back to the castle. Unfortunately, they had to save the chancellor too, so they did.  
  
Once back at the castle and the Queen, who looked a lot like Doron, was reunited with the king, who looked a lot like her brother, Mope, Perlin, Jsi, and Niftiness were thanked for their deeds. Jsi just stood there pondering how the stupid twin people had managed to get the roles of king and queen, and how, since they held those roles, Goyd had been mistaken for the queen.  
  
But the answer wasn't given to him, and Niftiness left the party feeling that he'd failed his queen. Perlin mentioned that Goyd may be upstairs now where she'd vanished, so they ran up to see.  
  
As soon as they walked into the queen's room, Goyd reappeared. 'How convenient that she appear as soon as we walk in,' Jsi observed to himself. 'And that she be dressed in her own clothes again. Must be some whacked out changing room in nonexistance.'  
  
"That was awful...it was so cold..."  
  
'So nonexistance is cold?'  
  
"But I'm back now! Thank you Crono! The real queen is safe, right? Let's go home!"  
  
'...You are so out of character, Goyd. It's scaring me. Please, PLEASE, YELL AT ME before the world ends!'  
  
"...WHAT ARE YOU STANDING THERE FOR CRONO?! Let's go back HOME!" she shouted.  
  
'Whew...for a minute there I thought I might've died and gone to Mexico...'  
  
And thusly, they walked back through the pixilated forest, onto the pixilated map, and into the pixilated portal. Well, actually, they stopped in front of the pixilated portal and Perlin showed them all her pixilated gate key that could control the dimensional gates.  
  
'Yeah yeah I care, let's just jump through already, sheesh.'  
  
They leapt through the portal, leaving the past, and the odd rabbit- like Frog, behind. 


	4. We're Back! and The Trial

Etwas Trigger: Chapter Four: We're Back!/The Trial  
  
Author: Meo  
  
Guin's Note: This goes from.uh.Well, it covers Crono's trial, and up to the point where they jump into the future.  
  
A harsh landing ensued after the three adventurers came out of the portal. With all of them piled upon each other, it was rather hard to get on their feet again right away.  
  
"GET OFF ME!" Perlin screamed. "I think the lenses on these glasses broke. ...Not that it matters. I can't see a THING out of them."  
  
Jsi rolled off of Goyd's back, landing on his face. Goyd then got up herself, and dusted off her clothes. Helping Perlin up, Jsi gestured to go out of the fair.  
  
Goyd started to speak. "OH, DAMN! I should get back to the castle! Dad's going to kill me if I don't! ...Not literally of course, but you know what I mean."  
  
Starting off again, the three began coming out of the fair, heading to the castle. Jsi felt rather regretful escorting the elf home, but eh, let's just say it's a heroic deed.  
  
Arriving at Guardia castle, Goyd and Jsi began to proceed. The otter turned his back, noticing Perlin was nowhere to be seen. He spaced out for a minute, mutely mumbling to himself on where she could've gone. She probably went back home to work on her little inventions. Or her 'toys', so to put it.  
  
"CRONO?! What're you waiting for? Bring me inside like a gentleman!" Goyd screamed, snapping him back into reality. "Now, are you going to escort me in, or do I have to drag you in by the hair? Get going!"  
  
Jsi, being a little annoyed, attempted to keep a cool expression on his face. He offered a hand out to the elf. She accepted it, and they went in through the door.  
  
"Princess Nadia! Where have you been?!" boomed a voice. It was a guard. Another one was by his side, grabbing Jsi by the arm.  
  
"Has this terrorist been holding you captive?" the other inquired, looking suspiciously at him.  
  
"He hasn't," she answered. "He's a son of a-- I mean, an ACQUAINTANCE of mine!"  
  
"He made you lie, didn't he?!" the first guard shouted in response. "Well...he has the right...to a TRIAL! ...And perhaps some pie, too."  
  
Being grabbed forcefully by the arms, Jsi was dragged downstairs by both guards to the courtroom. He knew people from all around would be staring down at him, with angry eyes. That couldn't be a good thing. Could it?  
  
He was thrown again onto the floor. Members of the supposed jury stared at him, and he didn't bother to look back. His lawyer introduced himself as Pierre.  
  
Jsi stared at the man, who had really, REALLY, long black hair and happened to sport a black horn on his forehead, and thought to himself, 'Well, that's Hush. At least he's got a character that's not too out there for him...somebody randomly helping somebody else... But that hat is so...not him.'  
  
The Chancellor was there, as well. He happened to resemble the twins' uncle, Fred. Who wasn't really their uncle, or wasn't really Fred. Or something. Jsi had forgotten the story, it was confusing.  
  
"ORDER IN THE COURT!" the judge shouted, banging his gavel. The yelling all around became silenced in an instant. He continued.  
  
"Now then. The boy Crono has been accused of KIDNAPPING the princess, as a terrorist act! Is this true, boy?"  
  
Jsi was ready to defend for himself, but all that came forth was muted shouting. Hush came forth, with an arm behind his back. "What my client is trying to say is no. But it seems he cannot speak."  
  
"Preposterous!" Uncle Fred interrupted. "He probably CAN talk! He's just putting on an act!"  
  
All that came from Jsi then was a facefault and a sweatdrop. 'Jeez, how can I defend myself if I can't actually make NOISE?! ...This blows.'  
  
Uncle Fred spoke again. "Now, continuing on. It seems we have a few witnesses here that SAW you at that carnival. Let's see if they have a plausible defense for you."  
  
A series of people then came into the courtroom. Jsi, feeling confident they'd vouch for him, had his hopes up that he'd be voted 'not guilty'. But as soon as he saw them all instantly stepping over to the left, he suddenly went stunned again.  
  
"WELL! They all seem to not vouch for you, and vote guilty for you! Now, bring this boy where he belongs--"  
  
"STOP!!"  
  
"Marle?! What're you doing here?!" Uncle Fred exclaimed.  
  
"I come to...uh...bring Crono his pie!" Goyd started. "He didn't get any! Only problem is...it's upstairs! He has to follow me!"  
  
"Well, this sentence was just about to be final! Guards! Bring Crono to his prison this instant!"  
  
"WHAT?! I don't even get to vouch for him? Some trial this is," the elf snorted. As she watched Jsi being carried away, she crossed her arms. "He probably deserved it anyhow. He still should've gotten some decent pie, though."  
  
The otter woke up in a jail cell, with his face buried in the shoddy cot. His eyes shifted over to a pink bag to his side. 'Hmm. That must be the pie...' he thought. As he untied the bag, he just noticed 5 glass bottles laying there. 'What the hell?! This isn't pie! They jipped me!'  
  
Angrily, Jsi ran to the metal bars, and shook at them like a wild animal. He kept wanting to shout about how he got ripped, but without his ability to talk, he just rattled at the door.  
  
One guard slammed the door with his sword. "Pipe down in there! Here's a novel idea! Go in that corner and sleep for the next three minutes. There'll be a surprise."  
  
'Surprise! Yay!' Jsi thought again. Unlatching himself from the bars, he ran toward the cot and lay down.  
  
A sharp tug awoke Jsi from his short sleep. The supervisor was dragging Jsi out of his cell. Jsi, looking forward to this, was just enjoying this ride. The two passed through the different rooms, and Jsi glanced to his side to notice a man struggling in an open guillotine.  
  
'Sucks to be that guy... OW! HEY, what's going on?!'  
  
Jsi was thrown forcefully onto something wooden. Staring up, he noticed something shine above him. He, too, was in a guillotine.  
  
'Crap.'  
  
Just before the supervisor was going to lower the blade, the noise of a laser gun firing off distracted the people in the room.  
  
The supervisor stared off. "Oh my, we're being distracted! Let us flee!"  
  
Along with the bumbling guards, everyone except Jsi left the room. The otter felt a strong kick to his face, and the next thing he noticed was the metal of the death device clamped into the wood. He heard another voice, but this time, it was feminine.  
  
"Hey, Crono. You alright there?"  
  
It was none other then Perlin. She had her gun in hand, along with a set of lensless glasses. She helped Jsi up, but the moment she did, she yanked him by the arm roughly, racing out the door.  
  
Up the stairs they went. Jsi was getting tired of Perlin dragging him by his arms, and if she did once more, she would just as well be tearing that one appendage off.  
  
They both abruptly came to a stop. Perlin looked around for a moment. "Got a little quiet around here. Too quiet...--"  
  
A rumble interrupted her. Both of them nearly fell off the bridge, but when the rumble ended, a big machine in the shape of a dragon was blocking the door they'd been running for.  
  
The machine let out a screeching roar. Perlin stepped up, with the nose of the gun pointed toward the machine. Jsi, stepping ahead of her, tapped the machine on the chestplate with his sword once, and by doing that, the whole machine fell apart.  
  
'How 'bout them apples?'  
  
"Hey, this thing was more shoddily built than I thought. Who cares? If it's destroyed, we can get through!"  
  
"Not while I'm around!"  
  
"It's the Chancellor!"  
  
"That's right! No one gets through while I'm around! Ha ha--" Uncle Fred got cut off by two more bumbling guards ramming into him. Soon, he noticed himself in an uncomfortable position, by hanging onto the jagged stone of the bridge.  
  
"Ack! You idiots! Look at what you made me do... ... ...I'm really scared of heights."  
  
Without a word, Perlin and Jsi zoomed past on the human bridge. Goyd, who was waiting by the steps of the castle, noticed the two coming toward her.  
  
"Well, Crono! There you are--"  
  
"No talk now, hon! We gotta run!" Perlin heaved, zooming past. Jsi grabbed Goyd by her hand, and ran out with her by the door.  
  
"Wait! Where are you taking me?! I didn't get my hair done yet!"  
  
"Too bad! We have to get to safety!"  
  
Through the forest the three went. They were being pursued by those guards, but since they were so far ahead, they just ran to an empty area of the forest.  
  
"Who is chasing us? I demand to know!" Goyd ordered.  
  
"...PEOPLE. That's all you need to know. ...Hey! A Gate!"  
  
'A Gate? Whoohoo!' Jsi cheered in his mind.  
  
Perlin noticed Jsi's find. "Hey! Another one! Lemme whip out the key!"  
  
"We don't know where this one will take us!" Goyd breathed.  
  
"Doesn't matter! Let's see... Found it! Everyone! Around me! Into the Gate!"  
  
In another blue and black pixelated circle, the three were soon enveloped in the strange portal. It closed, and they were now being transported to another place in time. Fun, no? We think so. 


	5. Beyond the Ruins and The Factory Ruins

Etwas Trigger: Chapter Five: Beyond the Ruins/The Factory Ruins  
  
Author: GuinevereKoopa  
  
Fic Note: Chapter five is quite long. Funny, but long. This part covers.well, the entire future. **nodnod** Mope is um.well, he breaks character a lot. He's just like that. He doesn't really have a fourth wall, so he's going to screw with Robo's lines very badly. Yeah.  
  
They emerged into a dismal, rusty looking metal room, and were thrown to the ground by the force of, um...gravity. Goyd shrieked and Perlin muttered a faint, "Ouch..." before everyone decided to pick themselves up off of the rusty metal floor before somebody ended up with tetanus.  
  
"No way the Chancellor can reach us here," Goyd stated. "But where are we?"  
  
Perlin got up and walked to the door at the back of the room. The black door with a pixilated seal on it. "This civilization seems advanced," she said, musing over the design of the seal.  
  
'I say we're in the future now,' Jsi thought, but nobody heard him, of course.  
  
"It's like we're in another world," Goyd agreed.  
  
Jsi sighed. 'WHAT did I just THINK at you? We're in the future! It's obvious!'  
  
Perlin and Goyd agreed that they should go find somebody so they could ask where they were, completely ignoring Jsi because they couldn't hear him.  
  
The Overworld was a murky, dismal place as well, covered in what seemed to be an eternal sort of rain. They walked to a place that was similarly pixilated, yet larger, than the one they'd exited, and went in. Inside they found a grimy people dressed in grimy clothes, sitting in the rusty, grimy dome, looking...well....grimy.  
  
After talking to the grimy folk, our heroes decided that the often mentioned "Arris Dome" might be a better place to be. Unfortunately, they had to cross an old factory ruin to get there.  
  
So, being the intrepid heroes they were pretending to be, they went to the ruins and ran through them. There were many odd creatures there, like piles of living slime, and huge fat bird things with one foot and two legs, and rats that stole tonics. But the point is, they made it through. And they found Arris Dome.  
  
And in Arris Dome, they found MORE grimy people. But they had a grimy leader. His name was Doan, but Jsi figured that he looked a lot like the mayor of Laca, Jurieno. After asking around for a while, they found out that somebody had gone down to the basement to get food a long time ago, but hadn't come back. So they decided to go down to the basement to find the guy who'd gone down to the basement to find food.  
  
As they approached the ladder, Doan, blonde and youthful and elven as he happened to appear, approached them. "Are you going down below?" he asked.  
  
'No duh.' But of course, Jsi wasn't heard.  
  
"Of course," Goyd answered.  
  
"But no one's ever returned from there."  
  
"Gotta try, right?" was Perlin's response. "We might find some cool stuff, never know."  
  
'Like the corpse of the guy who got lost down there?'  
  
"... It's nice to see such spirited young people for a change. These guys all suck, y'know? Careful now. And come back alive."  
  
'Yes, because we really could come back if we all died.' His sarcasm went unnoticed, though, and they set out for the basement.  
  
They walked through the basement and found a statue of a rat sitting on a long series of catwalks. Somehow the statue told them that anybody within the vicinity of the storage room would be attacked. So, being the unwary heroes they were, they went to find the storage room and were attacked when they tried to walk through the door to it.  
  
It was a tricky boss fight, but they managed to win it. After doing so, they ran into the storage room and stopped.  
  
"Phew...something reeks," Goyd said, walking to stand in the middle of the room.  
  
Perlin examined the food spilling out of the metal boxes and observed, "Everything's completely rotten. The refrigeration must have failed. I guess things are the same no matter where you go.... Nothing ever works."  
  
"Crono, look!" Goyd shouted, pointing at the corpse on the far side of the room.  
  
'You want me to look at the dead guy....why?'  
  
She ran over to his body and said, "...Must've passed away a long time ago."  
  
"Hey, he's that guy who came down here to get food who we came down here to find!"  
  
Goyd blinked. "Run that by me again?"  
  
"Never mind. What's that in his hand?" Goyd leaned down and yanked something out of the corpse's hand, and unintentionally yanked his hand off with it. She blinked, unaffected, and dropped the hand, giving what was in it to Perlin. "It looks like some kind of seed..." Perlin said.  
  
"A seed? Do you suppose it could grow in a place like this?"  
  
"A place like this?"  
  
"You know, in between the rusty floor boards or something?"  
  
"...I dunno," Perlin shrugged. "Let's go give it to Doan."  
  
Goyd glanced back at the now one-handed corpse, and noticed he had been holding a grimy sheet of paper in his grimy hand. "What's that say?"  
  
It said, "The rat is more than just a statue. It knows the secret of this dome. Catch it!"  
  
'Aw, great. This isn't some Tom and Jerry thing now, is it?'  
  
They ran back out to the catwalks, and found the rat sitting in front of them. Perlin briefly explained how to catch it, and Jsi briefly wondered how she knew, and so they chased it. Jsi stumbled and fell a couple times, so they had to give it quite a few tries before he finally caught it and it told them the code to open up the panel on the first screen of basement.  
  
They ran back to the first screen of basement and used the code, and then ran through the door that it opened up. There were some enemy battles and all, and they got lost a few times due to Jsi's inability to see in such faulty lighting.  
  
Eventually, they found a chamber containing a rather pixilated machine, where they got to view footage of the pixilicious end of the world. In 1999AD. Which meant that, Jsi was right, they were in the future.  
  
"No..." Goyd muttered, falling to her knees. "That can't be how the world ends... It's not supposed to end with some ball of fire named Lavos falling to Earth, it's supposed to end when Snazzy summons Vyecheslav..."  
  
'YOU DO REMEMBER!' Jsi shouted mentally, with a grin.  
  
Suddenly the alert system went off and a girl with brown hair walked into the room and whacked Goyd upside the head. "NO BREAKING CHARACTER!" she shouted, and ran out. She paused just before leaving and called back, "You didn't see me!" And then she left.  
  
Goyd blinked. "Wha' happen?" she mumbled, staring blankly into space.  
  
"You were about to demand that we save the future?" Perlin suggested.  
  
"Oh yeah! Crono!! We can't let this be how the world ends up! We need to stop it!"  
  
"I guess..." Perlin said, looking at the now blank screen. "It was a stroke of luck we ended up here and got to see how the world ends up, so we can change it."  
  
"Come on Lucca!" Goyd ran over to Crono and said, similarly, "Come on Crono!"  
  
Jsi nodded. Might as well go along with it. Saving the world couldn't be THAT hard, could it?  
  
They ran back through the basement and as soon as they climbed up the ladder, Doan walked over to them. "You're back!" he exclaimed.  
  
All the grimy people there gathered around. Jsi began to feel like a sideshow. "Well? What'd ya'll discover?" Doan asked.  
  
"This is our future!" Goyd exclaimed.  
  
"Dude." Doan blinked.  
  
Some guy randomly shouted "Who cares? Where's the food!"  
  
Goyd held up the seed they'd found. "This is all we could get."  
  
"Seeds...?" Doan mused.  
  
'Dude, there's only one seed. It's seed. Singular,' Jsi thought.  
  
"You should plant this, and stuff!" Perlin stated.  
  
"You can um....throw them in between the rusty floorboards and water them, or something!" Goyd grinned.  
  
Doan took the seed, staring at it grimly. "I suppose.... Huh. You're, like... strange." He looked back up at the crew. "You're different from us..."  
  
"I think it's because we're healthy!" Goyd said.  
  
'Way to insult the guy, Goyd,' Jsi thought.  
  
"Heal...thy?" Doan blinked. "Healthy. Nice ring to it. What's it mean?"  
  
Goyd blinked. "Er...Uh....Not sick?"  
  
"Gotcha!" He turned to the little girl who walked up to his side, and said, "Go, like, throw these seeds between the rusty floorboards, man! They just might be our future!"  
  
The little girl took them and did as he had told her. As she did this, he turned back to Jsi. "Goin' to Proto Dome, dude? Take this with you." He handed them something called a Bike Key. "It's a key to the Jet Bike at Laboratory 32. I used to ride it when I was younger."  
  
The crew blinked. Though he was grimy, Doan looked quite young. Long blonde hair and bright green eyes and everything. But they shrugged it off and took the key anyway.  
  
"Take care. And, like, stay.... healthy. Dudes."  
  
They left and headed for Lab 32. As they approached the Jet Bike, four robots came out and the battle music kicked in. It soon wound down though and turned into a rather upbeat theme, as a motorcycle-like man rode onscreen. "Hold it there!" he shouted.  
  
The robots immediately set themselves up to have the best view of him and shouted, "Hold on! It's...."  
  
"Thanks for the intro, babe!" he grinned, and the robots finished what they were saying with a shout of, "...The MAN!"  
  
The MAN turned and looked at them with a smug look on his face. "You lowlifes can call me Johnny!"  
  
"Johnny's the MAN!" the robots chorused.  
  
"EEEEEY!"  
  
Jsi blinked. That was a familiar sound...  
  
Perlin screamed. "EEEE! FONZY!"  
  
Johnny looked at her. "What? No, babe, the name's Johnny."  
  
"No, you're FONZY!" she squealed. "FONZY!! Fonzy, how did you stay alive so long?!"  
  
"I WAS ASSIMILATED! EEEEEEY!"  
  
The robots chorused back an, "EEEEEY!"  
  
Fonzy looked at Jsi. "Part of an old highway runs through these ruins. Think you can beat me in a bike race? Use that Jet Bike and... don't chicken out, babe! EEEEEY!"  
  
Jsi walked up to the Jet Bike and got on. Piece of cake! ...Right?  
  
The race was long and grueling...well...not really. But Fonzy/Johnny's constant shouting of "EEEEEEY!" WAS rather trying on the nerves. It took a few tries (Jsi kept crashing into random things), but eventually Jsi won the race.  
  
"YOU beat me? I don't get it!" Fonzy exclaimed, dragging his wheels onscreen. "At least it wasn't for pinks, EEEEEEY!" he shouted with a grin. "You can challenge me anytime, we'll ride the wind babe! EEEEEEY!"  
  
Jsi, Goyd, and Perlin ran away as fast as they could, to get away from all the "EEEEEEY"ing. They ran to a place called Proto Dome, where they found a boy lying in front of a door at the end of the room.  
  
The boy was lying on his stomach as if he'd tripped, fallen, and hadn't bothered to get up. He was wearing a gold jumpsuit with a funky brown loincloth-looking sash around his waist, and his skin and hair were painted gold as well. Jsi could recognize him immediately as...well...one of those two twins. The boy. He could never remember which was the boy and which was the girl, though. He took a wild guess and decided it was Mope. Yeah, Mope...  
  
"What's this?" Goyd pondered, walking over to the boy's side.  
  
"It's in bad shape... But it appears to be a humaoid robot!" Perlin exclaimed happily.  
  
"...No, dude, I think it's a kid with gold paint."  
  
"Nonsense! It's a humanoid robot! And I can fix it!" She ran over and took out a screwdriver, leaning down at Mope's side.  
  
"WHOA!" he shouted, and jumped to his feet. "What are you gonna do with that thing?!"  
  
Perlin blinked. "Um... I was going to repair you, but it would appear that you don't need it."  
  
Mope looked between the three of them, who stood there blinking at him, and he cleared his throat. "Good morning, mistress. What is your command?" he said to Goyd.  
  
"MISTRESS?! I AIN'T YOUR DAMN MISTRESS!" Goyd shouted. Mope blinked. Goyd blinked. She cleared her throat and said, "I mean...Call me Marle. This is Crono, and Lucca here fixed you."  
  
"Whoa, I ain't been fixed by anybody, lady!" Mope denied. Everyone blinked at him and he sighed, shaking his head, and then resumed his unemotional robotic face. "Understood. Madam Lucca fixed me."  
  
"Just Lucca will do," Perlin said.  
  
"Impossible. Your name is really Perlin."  
  
'Somebody else remembers!' Jsi cheered in his mind. But the others just blinked.  
  
"No... No, my name is Lucca."  
  
"Sorry... What I meant was.... Impossible. That would be rude."  
  
"But I hate formal titles. Don't you, Marle?"  
  
"Yeah, they suck," Goyd said with a giggle.  
  
"I understand, Lucca," Mope said.  
  
"What's your name?" Perlin asked him.  
  
"My serial number is R-66Y," he replied.  
  
"R-66Y? COOL!"  
  
"That'll never do! I can't remember a name like that! Crono, let's give him a better one!"  
  
'How about we call him Mope so I can stop being so confused?'  
  
"That's a great name! We'll call you Robo!" she said, looking back at Mope.  
  
"I am Robo. Data storage complete."  
  
'That's not what I said.'  
  
"Yo, Robo, why aren't there any people here?" Perlin asked.  
  
Mope looked around. "...Dude. There WERE people here, once... But I guess something killed 'em all or something."  
  
"Something awful must have happened," Goyd said, looking suddenly sad.  
  
"Yeah, it looks like that, but really, that's just what you're supposed to say."  
  
They blinked at him. He sighed again. "Okay, let's skip it. Check that door there. It's locked because there's no power. I can restore the power by turning on the generator in the factory to the north."  
  
"You'd do that for us?" Goyd asked.  
  
"Yeah, sure, whatever. But one of you has to stay here to hold the door open, because the power won't stay on too long."  
  
Jsi tapped Goyd's shoulder and pointed to the door. "What? Me? YOU JERK! You're gonna make ME stay behind?! How rude!" she shouted at him.  
  
He started walking off, and Perlin and Mope followed. She stood there by the door, fuming, as they walked offscreen.  
  
The factory to the north was...well...um....to make a long story short, they went in, turned on the power, and accidentally activated the whole R series and ended up in a confrontation.  
  
"Stop! These are my friends!" Mope cried, stepping in front of the R series robots to stop Jsi and Perlin from attacking them.  
  
"R-66Y! You are defective!" one of them shouted at him.  
  
"Defective...?"  
  
"You must be reprogrammed!"  
  
"NO! I am not defective! I'm a REAL BOY!"  
  
Everyone paused, including Mope, then shrugged, and then the R series robots proceeded to grab Mope, beat his aise down, and throw him into a tube. Perlin screamed something to the effect of, "NO! YOU BASTARDS!" and they fought and defeated the R series.  
  
Then they dragged Mope back to the Proto Dome, where he was "repaired" again. From there, they went through the door that Goyd had been holding open, and up to the gate. None of them knew where it would take them, but they didn't seem to care. Anywhere was better than this rusty ol' future, anyway.  
  
They leapt through. 


	6. The End of Time

Etwas Trigger: Chapter Six: The End of Time  
  
Authour: GuinevereKoopa  
  
Authour's Note: Well, Meo's been sorta burned out on this lately. Been havin' a rough time and all. So Guin's writing part six for her. On a sidenote I realize I probably shoulda summarized the Etwas characters for y'all.but hey. Something you probably should know though, Nome, the guy playing Magus, is Goyd's big brother. And Fluffy, that mantis thingy playing Spekkio? That's Nome's familiar. Though ya don't get to that whole thingy until later.y'know. Anyway. Part six covers, uh. The End of Time. Have fun. As for the whole "clockwise/counterclockwise thing"? XD; I did that when I played. Hence my idea for it.  
  
They ended up somewhere strange. There was perpetual night in the sky, and three pillars of light in the square area into which they'd emerged. They'd come out of the one in the middle. They all stared around, trying to figure out what was going on.  
  
"The gate took us someplace odd." Perlin said.  
  
"Let's go find the nearest old man!" Goyd exclaimed.  
  
Perlin blinked. "Uhm. Why, Marle?"  
  
"Because old dudes are always all like wise and stuff! The nearest old guy can tell us where we are!" she explained.  
  
Everyone stared at her.  
  
"What? I thought it made sense."  
  
Jsi noticed a path off to the side and pointed at it. The other three followed that line of sight, saw the path, and ran for it, leaving him behind. He blinked, suddenly realized that he was being left behind, and ran after them.  
  
As they got off the huge square, and onto the path, they could hear somebody snoring. 'Life!' Jsi thought. Goyd, being the first one down, threw open the gate at the bottom of the pathway and ran over to the only source of light in the whole place.  
  
It was a lamppost. There was the "old man" they'd been looking for, leaning up against it and sleeping. And I say that in quotes because he.wasn't really that old. He was a Wood Elf, dark skin and green hair, with a mustache, even. A green one. And he was wearing a long coat and a bowler hat.  
  
Jsi recognized him immediately. He was Niftiness's army commander, Harlan Kirstoff. He decided not to bother with his mute outcry this time, though. Those got tiring. He walked over and tapped Harlan on the shoulder.  
  
He awoke with a start, and then saw Jsi, Goyd, Mope, and Perlin standing there, all dressed as their separate characters, and said, "Ah! More guests."  
  
"Uh. Where the heck are we?" Perlin asked.  
  
"This is the End of Time, madam. All people lost while traversing time will end up here. Now, from where would you happen to be?" Jsi had never quite gotten used to Harlan's formal manner of speech.  
  
Goyd piped up with, "Me, Lucca, and Crono are from 1000 AD."  
  
Mope put in, "I'm from the future, yo."  
  
Harlan shook his head. "You cannot be from the future, boy. We are in the future. The quite distant future."  
  
"Uh. Then I'm from the past?"  
  
"Of course you are from the past!"  
  
"I'm from.the not so distant past?"  
  
".Just tell me a year, would you?"  
  
"2300 AD? Or was that 2400 AD? 2200, maybe? No, no I'm pretty sure it was 2300 AD."  
  
".Uh. Ahem. When four beings step into a time warp, the Conservation of Time Theorem states that they shall turn up at the space-time co-ordinates of least resistance. That is here. Disturbances in space-time have been increasing as of late. Far too many people are ending up here." he explained. "I fear something may be having a powerful effect on the very fabric of time."  
  
'I didn't understand a word of that.'  
  
"So what you're saying is," Perlin began, "four people can't go through a Gate together."  
  
He nodded. "That is precisely what I am saying." When in fact, nobody else even understood how the heck Perlin had gotten that out of what he'd said.  
  
"So one of us would have to stay," she clarified. "Right?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"One of us? Stay HERE? ALONE?!" Goyd exclaimed. "Not that I have a problem with that, but I forgot to bring my gun and anything to practice my aim with."  
  
"It is pretty bleak here," Harlan agreed. "I can see why you would not wish to stay. But do not worry. All time periods connect here. You may visit your friends whenever you wish. You merely can never travel in groups greater than three."  
  
"So one of us needs to stay. Thanks for the hella long speech," Mope said. "Ya coulda just said, 'Know what? One of you needs to stay.' And spared us all the technical details. You've wasted five minutes of my life!"  
  
"You're a robot, dummy. You're not alive," Perlin told him.  
  
He sniffled and turned his gaze to the ground, looking kind of forlorn. "You hate me."  
  
Perlin sighed. Goyd interjected with, "Crono better not leave me behind again, or I'll kick his furry little otter tail!" Perlin and Mope blinked, and then looked at Jsi. Goyd continued, "So who ARE you leaving behind, Crono?"  
  
Jsi looked at the three group members gathered before him. Mope was the one he wanted to take. Mope seemed to know what was going on and everything. But Goyd really would kick his ass if he left her behind, and he needed Perlin's mad shooting skills. So tentatively, he lifted his hand and pointed at Mope.  
  
Mope sighed and looked at the ground again. "Please, come for me whenever you need me. I'll just be over there, feeling unloved, and crying my eyes out."  
  
Jsi immediately felt bad for that, but he knew that women were a LOT worse than that when they were angry.  
  
Harlan said, "Do not forget. Press the square button to switch between party members."  
  
"How do we get back to our own time?" Goyd asked.  
  
"Do you see those lovely pillars of light over there?" Harlan asked in return, pointing at the small platform from which the group had come. "Just use those. Once you have traveled through a gate, you can always use it to come here." He explained how to use the Gates from there. Stand inside the light and press the X button. He then pointed at the softly glowing bucket in the corner of the screen and said, "But be you wary of the Gate that leads from that bucket."  
  
'So.the bucket is a DANGEROUS bucket?' Jsi thought. Surely the soft glow wasn't anything deadly. He walked over to the bucket and looked in. There was a gate in there. An open one. Didn't need a Gate Key to get through. He wondered briefly whether or not he should jump in just to see where it led.  
  
As soon as he stood to jump in the bucket, Harlan shouted, "Imbecile! What did I just tell you?! Disobeying an order! Drop and give me fifty!"  
  
Jsi blinked. 'Uh.well, he WAS a soldier.' he thought to himself. He turned back to Harlan and shook his head. No way he was going to do push- ups for some elf who wasn't even really a military commander anymore. Especially since he really sucked at doing push-ups.  
  
"Are you defying me, soldier?" Harlan shouted.  
  
Jsi blinked. Harlan looked kind of angry. Maybe it would've been a better idea to just do the push-ups.  
  
"That is IT. Fifty just became one hundred. Drop."  
  
Jsi took a step back, not realizing that he was standing right in front of the bucket, and.fell in. You can imagine what he found inside that bucket. So yeah, that was the first game over.  
  
Then the group had to get back to the End of Time from the last save point, talk to Harlan again, and they finally got back to where Jsi had to pick a person. He picked Mope again, because he didn't want to risk the wrath of any women. Harlan warned them again about the bucket, and Jsi actually listened, and didn't walk over to jump in. That Lavos thing. That was just plain scary.  
  
Harlan had nothing else to say after that. Jsi noticed a door at the back of the square, and he tried to open it, but it was locked, so they walked back up the path to the pillars of light. Out of nowhere they heard, "Hey." It was Harlan. They ran back down to talk to him again.  
  
"Be you not in such a hurry," he said. "Before you venture off, take a look in the room behind me."  
  
They walked back to the door Jsi had tried to open earlier, and it opened easily. 'What the. THIS WHOLE WORLD MAKES NO SENSE TO ME!' Jsi screamed in his head. Goyd and Perlin just walked past him into the room.  
  
Inside the room was another square, but this one was devoid of anything except a really big preying mantis in the center. She was wearing a black collar with a nametag, too. Jsi walked over and looked at the nametag. "Fluffy," it read. He blinked. 'So THIS is Nome's pet mantis? Fluffy?' he thought.  
  
She looked up at him and gave him what must have been a mantisian smile, but it looked rather threatening. She started making some chittering sounds that none of them could understand.  
  
"Hang on a minute," Perlin said. "Let me go invent a translator." She ran out of the room. Goyd, Jsi, and Fluffy stood there for a while, waiting. Finally she ran back in, carrying a little box, which she placed next to Fluffy's feet. Er.a pair of them, anyway. "Okay, start over."  
  
Fluffy tilted her head quizzically, but began over, anyway. "My name is Spekkio," the translator translated. "I'm the Master of War! I've seen all kinds of battles from here! How do I look to you guys?"  
  
A window popped up. "Giant Preying Mantis" wasn't an option, so Jsi chose "Weak!".  
  
Fluffy gave that smile again. "I see. Let's put it this way. If you're strong, I look strong. If you're weak, I look weak."  
  
'Hey!' Jsi exclaimed. 'I'm insulted!' The fact that he'd insulted her first meant nothing, of course.  
  
"You are strong of will.!" she said. "That's why the old one let you through. .Even though he's not really that old. But anyway. Long before you were born, there was a kingdom where magic flourished. Everyone could use it! Especially my master, he was really cool. You know how cool he is? He's so cool-"  
  
"We don't care how cool he is," Goyd interrupted angrily. "Just get on with your damn speech."  
  
"Uh. In time, people began to abuse their powers. My master didn't though! He was too cool for that! He was-"  
  
"WE DON'T CARE!"  
  
".You're mean. Uh.the abuse got so bad that no one was allowed to use magic except wizards. Like my master! He's a great wizard! He's really powerful! Do you know how cool he is? He-"  
  
"DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU, MANTIS CHILD!" Goyd shouted, almost demonically. Fluffy looked at her fearfully, taking a step back.  
  
"A-anyway. You have.determination. Magic needs the power of the heart. It needs inner strength. My master-"  
  
"AUGH!" Goyd whacked Fluffy over the head with her crossbow.  
  
Fluffy sat there and whined for a while. Jsi walked over and patted her head. 'It's okay, Fluffy. We all take such abuse from Goyd,' he thought, sympathetically.  
  
When Fluffy finally recovered from that, she said, "Magic is divided into four types. Lightning, Water, Fire, and Shadow. You! The one with the badly dyed hair! You're originally water, but we made you lightning for the game! And you, the mean one! You're TOTALLY fire, but we made you water for the game! And you, the.bat.girl. You're originally Wind, but we made you fire for the game. Not just magic, but EVERYTHING is based on the balance of these four powers." She paused, and then looked between the three of them. "Now, think 'MAGIC' and, starting from the door, walk clockwise along the walls of my room three times. Don't lose track, now!"  
  
'This is easy!' Jsi got up and started walking. He went from the door, around to the door, three times. Then he went and talked to Fluffy, but she fell down and said, "Hey! Don't cheat! I'm watching you!"  
  
He blinked. 'I know I didn't cheat there.' So he went back and did the same thing again, and even went a fourth time for good measure. But again, Fluffy told him not to cheat. It was starting to annoy him. So he went, ran this time, came back, and Fluffy, AGAIN, told him not to cheat.  
  
He was about to go back and do it yet again, when Goyd piped up, "Um, Crono? .You're going COUNTER-clockwise."  
  
He stood there, frozen from the sheer depth of his stupidity. Goyd came over, grabbed his arm, and dragged him three times around the room, CLOCKWISE this time. They walked back to Fluffy and she said, "Very good! Ipso facto, meeny moe. MAGICO!"  
  
And so Jsi learned how to use lightning magic, and Goyd how to use ice magic, and Perlin how to use fire magic. Hooray.  
  
"So!" she said. "Fortified with magic! Wanna try it out?" And by that, she meant, "Wanna fight, punks?"  
  
Jsi decided to take her up on the challenge. 'How hard can it be to beat FLUFFY?'  
  
To make a short story shorter, she handed them their asses. And then she said, "Hah! You're weak! My master could beat you! He could beat you easy! Cuz he's cool! He's so cool! Do you know how cool he is?!"  
  
They got up, crawled over to the HP/MP restore, and then went to talk to Harlan again.  
  
He said, "People who lived long ago all enjoyed such powers. Now, I know you are all anxious to go running back and forth through time, but first you must return to your era. And you must make haste. The longer you remain here, the more difficult it shall be for you to change what must be changed. Come by whenever you are here." He glanced around the sparsely decorated square. A lamppost, a save point, a glowing dot, and a Bucket of Doom. "Not that.there is anything else to do here other than talk to me. Or battle Spekkio."  
  
He had nothing else to say. So they ran around trying to find things to do before they went back home. They bugged Fluffy, fought her again, lost again (badly). Jsi tried to play with the bucket, but Harlan yelled at him again.  
  
Finally they decided that there was nothing to do there but bug Harlan. Or bug Fluffy, but she was annoying. So they ran over to Harlan to bother him.  
  
"So why's your hair green?" Goyd asked.  
  
"Did I not tell you to go home?" he answered.  
  
"No, really! You're supposed to be the old guy at the End of Time! Shouldn't your hair be white?"  
  
"'Tis none of your concern what colour my hair may chance to be."  
  
"And your mustache, that's green too! That's some dye, yo!"  
  
"'Tis natural, you bloody-"  
  
Jsi chose that moment to snag the bowler hat he was wearing. Harlan blinked, frozen in place, almost as if Jsi's audacity was shocking beyond words. It was a nice hat, if a bit odd in taste. Jsi turned it over in his hands, pondering it. Harlan snatched it back as soon as Jsi decided to try to try it on.  
  
"Stop that, you bloody son of an otter!" he shouted as he replaced the hat over his wavy green hair. "You shall put holes in it if you try that. Now begone with you, before I-"  
  
Jsi made a grab for the hat again. He'd forgotten two things. One, Harlan was a soldier. He was well versed in most forms of weapon usage, staff fighting included. And two, he was holding a cane. And so it was that Jsi ended up on his face on the ground, again, with a bloody nose, again. Goyd stood there and laughed at him.  
  
'Bitch.' he muttered in his mind as he crawled to his knees, one hand over his bloody nose.  
  
Perlin sighed, grabbed his arm, and dragged him up to the square where the gates were. Goyd followed. Harlan resumed sleeping against the lamppost, and Mope sighed. He was missing out on all the fun. 


End file.
